Mindset Reclaimed

Let’s be real — anxiety in your 20s and 30s hits different. You’re supposed to be “figuring it all out,” building a career, maybe a family, staying connected, growing up. But sometimes, just sending a text back or walking into a room full of people feels like too much.

I’ve dealt with anxiety for most of my adult life. At first, I didn’t even call it that. I just thought I was overly shy, sensitive, or “bad at people.” I’d cancel plans last minute, replay convos in my head for days, and constantly worry that I came off as awkward. Meanwhile, on the outside? I looked totally fine. Smiling, getting things done, keeping it together.

But inside, I was overwhelmed — by social expectations, overthinking, and this constant loop of “what ifs.”

It wasn’t until I hit a pretty rough burnout that I realized I needed real tools, not just another night in with excuses. So, here’s what’s actually helped me start to cope — not perfectly, but better.

1. Learning to Sit With Discomfort

This one’s hard. I used to run from any feeling that made me uncomfortable — shame, awkwardness, uncertainty. Now I try to sit with it, even for 30 seconds longer than I could before. Anxiety doesn’t go away overnight, but you get stronger by showing yourself that you can feel it and still keep going.

2. Naming It (Without Judging It)

One small shift that helped a lot: I started saying, “I feel anxious” instead of “I’m anxious.” It seems tiny, but it reminded me that anxiety is something I experience, not something I am. That separation helped me stop making it my whole identity and start treating it with more compassion.

3. Social Scripts for the Win

Social anxiety is brutal because your brain convinces you you’ll mess up every interaction. What helped me was preparing little “scripts” for common situations — like what to say if I need to leave early or how to politely decline something. It takes pressure off in the moment and gives me a safety net.

4. Gentle Routines That Anchor Me

I used to think I needed this hardcore morning routine with journaling, green juice, meditation, etc. But honestly, the best routine is the one I actually do. For me, that’s drinking water before coffee, stretching for five minutes, and walking outside once a day. Small, consistent actions help ground me way more than chasing a perfect self-care checklist.

5. Saying No Without Guilt

Boundaries were terrifying at first. I thought saying “no” made me difficult or rude. Now, I’m learning that preserving my energy is an act of self-respect. If something drains me or spikes my anxiety, I’m allowed to choose differently — even if someone doesn’t get it.

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There’s no quick fix for anxiety, especially in these decades where everything feels high-stakes. But the more I understand myself and build habits that support my nervous system, the less power it has over my life.

If you’re in the thick of it, I see you. You’re not weak. You’re not behind. You’re just learning how to carry a heavy feeling with more ease — and that’s brave as hell.

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